I was married to a man who always expected some sort of return; such as appreciation or gratitude for the gifts he gave. Of course his expectations were never met. Kids these days are extremely attuned to energy, and our kids were no exception. The more he expected, the more they disregarded him. My daughter just happens to be the “bullshit police”. She is extremely attuned to inauthentic behavior. She can pick up the difference between something that is being offered sincerely and what seems to be a feeling of neediness. I suspected my “ex” was the latter.

 

Yes, as children, we were told to say “Thank-You” when given something. Sometimes we were reprimanded or even scolded when we didn’t want to say those words, because we felt an odd energy from the giver. As children, we were never honored for how or what we felt. Children today are powerful warriors, standing their ground for authentic behavior. I noticed when my daughter was given something out of pure love, she automatically would say, thank-you. There was never any need for force.

 

When someone truly “gives”, there is an energy that accompanies this act. I work in a wonderful yoga studio, where the owner is constantly reminding me of what pure giving looks and feels like. I watch her give her heart and love to this community without the expectation of getting anything back. I noticed how people tended to return favors to her, out of pure gratitude. The magnetic influence of her loving nature influences others and me, to give in the same way. This kind of giving is purely energetic. I notice how it warms my heart, opening the door to my truest self. Giving without the expectation of receiving, gives me an overwhelming feeling of joy and the feeling of honor shows up inside me.  This also reminds me of my friend, Dana. She also gave without expectation of getting back. When I promised a return on her generosity, it was always accompanied with “No need. It always comes out in the wash!”  I remember watching a commercial about a person randomly doing something for somebody and another witnesses the act, which causes that person to do something for someone else, causing a ripple effect of just doing for others. I can totally understand how this ripple effect of giving can be engaged.

 

In the Mind Body Code, Dr. Mario Martinez talks about offering vs. giving. He states that the act of giving has an energy of getting back, and calls this a ledger relationship, meaning; I will give you this gift as long as… The receiving person feels owned and obligated. Dr. Martinez suggests offering, instead. Offering has a devotional energy to it. When you offer something, the person on the other end has the choice of accepting or declining your gift. That person stays in power. “Giving” can tend to be a forced act. In my experience, it does have an obligatory quality. Not only did I feel this in my marriage, but I also worked in a place that gave me the feeling of  “I better not screw up” under the guise of giving. 

 

In the book The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, Deepak Chopra has a different twist on giving. In his book, the second Spiritual Law, the Law of Giving and Receiving, works on the level of soul. Dr. Chopra talks about giving with gratitude, which takes the “ego of giving” out of the way. He suggests, giving with the ego is more for the giver than for the receiver. In other words, the giver feels self-important, and it shuts off the receiving end of the energy. He states that universal energy is circular. When one gives with gratitude, it always comes back. It is important to note, it almost never is returned in the way you expect, just like my friend Dana used to say, “it always comes out in the wash”.

 

My philosophy is that we create our lives both positively and negatively, unconsciously as well as consciously. Remember, nothing is right, wrong, good or bad. We are all on a journey into ourselves to connect with our own divine nature. For me, my encounter with the “ego of giving” has been a great lesson, as it kept me in the scarcity mode of survival. I attracted those souls who were showing me what it looked and felt like on a grand scale.  Having been curious about why I attracted these certain people, I began to understand the true nature of giving.  I look at my life now and realize that I must have shifted my own negative patterns. I now find myself surrounded by many grateful, loving and truly giving friends, clients and acquaintances. I notice that anytime I feel joy and gratitude, I always receive something whether it is a smile, a compliment or an unexpected gift; it keeps me staying honored and truly thankful. I even see this shift in my daughter.  Obligation is becoming an energy of the past. I believe the ripple effect of the energy of giving has begun.

 

Written by Roni Antonio

All right reserved.  BodyMindSoul LLC December 2014