The holidays conjure up many mixed emotions - from joy to frustration and anger. Many of us feel stressed as we shop the malls or search online for the perfect gift.

 

I was married to a man who always expected some sort of obligatory return, such as appreciation for the gifts he gave to the kids. Of course, his expectations were never met. Kids these days are attuned to energy, and our kids were no exception. The more he expected, the more they disregarded him. My daughter just happens to be the “bullshit police”. She is extremely sensitive to inauthentic behavior. She can pick up the difference between something that is being offered sincerely or what seems to be offered with the need to be acknowledged.

 

Yes, as children, we were told to say “Thank You” when given something. Sometimes we were reprimanded or even scolded when we didn’t want to say those words, because we felt an odd energy from the giver. As children, we were never honored for how or what we felt. Children today are powerful warriors, standing their ground for authentic behavior. I noticed when my daughter was given something out of pure love, she would automatically say thank you. There was never any need for force.

 

When someone truly “gives”, there is an energy that accompanies this act. This kind of giving is purely energetic. Giving without the expectation of receiving, gives me an overwhelming feeling of joy and the feeling of honor shows up inside me. This reminds me of one of my good friends. She always gave without expectation of getting back. When I promised a return on her generosity, it was always accompanied with “No need. It always comes out in the wash!”

 

When someone gives unconditionally, it is always followed by the ripple effect. Do you remember the commercial about a person randomly doing something for somebody and another witnesses the act, which causes that person to do something for someone else, causing this ripple effect of just giving? Have you been the recipient of your coffee being paid for by the person in the car ahead of you at the drive-thru? How did you feel? What was your reaction? The other day, this happened to me. It was such a wonderful surprise! I genuinely wanted to give them a big hug and tell them they just made my day.

 

In the Mind Body Code, Dr. Mario Martinez talks about offering vs. giving. He states that the act of giving has an energy of getting back, and calls this a ledger relationship, meaning; I will give you this gift if I get back something of equal or greater value.  The receiving person feels owned and obligated. Dr. Martinez suggests offering, instead. Offering has a devotional energy to it. When you offer something, the person on the other end has the choice of accepting or declining your gift. That person stays in power. “Giving” can tend to be a forced act. In my experience, it does have an obligatory quality. Not only did I feel this in my marriage, but I also worked as a trainer in a place that gave me the feeling of “I better not screw up” under the guise of being given a Christmas bonus. It was never out of generosity but from a place of ownership.

 

In the book The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, Deepak Chopra has a different twist on giving. In his book, the second Spiritual Law, the Law of Giving and Receiving, works on the level of soul. Dr. Chopra talks about giving with gratitude, which takes the “ego of giving” out of the way. He suggests that giving with the ego is more for the giver than for the receiver. In other words, the giver feels self-important, and it shuts off the receiving end of the energy. He states that universal energy is circular. When one gives with gratitude, it always comes back. It is important to note, it almost never is returned in the way you expect, just like my friend, who used to say, “it always comes out in the wash”.

 

My philosophy is that we create our lives both positively and negatively, unconsciously as well as consciously. When someone ahead of you bought your coffee, how did you feel? What did you think? What memories came up? What actions did you take? By simply asking yourself these questions, old habits and old belief patterns will be brought into your awareness. Did you think, “I don’t deserve this free coffee”, or “Now I “have to” buy coffee for someone else”?  Or maybe you received it with deep gratitude. Remember, nothing is right, wrong, good, or bad. It just helps you to be aware of your reactions, the root of which are ingrained belief patterns. We are all on a journey into ourselves to connect with our own divine nature.

 

For me, my encounter with the “ego of giving” has been a great lesson, as it has kept me in survival and separateness.  I gave, out of “having to” because I thought that was the right thing or that people would like me more or that I would appear favorable in the eyes of others. I attracted people who were showing me what it looked and felt like to give out of obligation or manipulation. By being aware of how I felt, I recognized my own antiquated beliefs. I began to understand, giving unconditional, not only feels good inside but also carries a deep sense of gratitude. I look at my life today and realize that I must have shifted my own negative belief patterns because I am surrounded by many grateful, loving and truly giving friends, clients, and acquaintances. I notice that anytime I feel joy and gratitude, I always receive something whether it is a smile, a compliment, or an unexpected gift; it keeps me staying honored and truly thankful. Obligation is becoming an energy of the past. I believe the ripple effect of the energy of giving has begun.

 

Learn self-awareness to shift your life out of negative belief patterns into living a joyful, grateful, and free life by using one or all Motional Being modalities: Yoga, Life Coaching and Energy Healing and Physical Therapy. Each of these modalities gives you a glimpse into yourself.

 

Contact Roni or Shawna at connect@motionalbeing.com or go to our website www.motionalbeing.com

 

Written by Roni Antonio